Despite my denials, it’s true, LSD babies were the product of my generations selfless longing for illumination, enlightenment and the drug-crazed delusion that life could transcend the narrow limitations of ego and burst beyond the grasping self into some sublime open field where all things were one and living in perfect absolute harmony.

But it was not to be.

Teenage girls gave birth to nine pound day-glo frogs and young boys slithered within the skin of hideous snakes through crepusculating psychedelic forests, their adolescent tongues darting like stroboscopic slabs of slimy pink despair into the peach fuzzed meatpit of absolute reality.

The era of the Aquarian Age turned into a sideshow of chromosome altered freaks that roamed the garbage strewn streets of the Mission District and the Lower East Side. Within the dark alleys of crumbling cities the LSD babies gathered in schools of glistening green-eyed bat creatures and colonies of sad little frog people with speech impediments and post nasal drip.

What had once been metaphoric had become literal: WE HAD THIRD EYES!