joy_division_bank_loot_

File under ‘Incredible and Not True.’ Celebrity chef Jamie Oliver has apparently uncovered Joy Division and New Order master tapes, and “over £1 million in gold, jewelry and guns” in the basement of his latest restaurant in Manchester, England, reports celebrity news and gossip site Holy Moly. Apparently the stash was uncovered in hundreds of safe deposit boxes (some dating back to 1935) in the vault of an old Midland Bank building where excavations for the new restaurant were taking place. According to the Daily Mail:

HSBC bank, the former occupant of the building, said it could not confirm exactly what was in the boxes due to customer confidentiality.

A spokesman said: ‘Even if I knew exactly what was in those boxes I would not be able to comment on that for reasons of confidentiality.

‘We cannot reveal the precise contents, but these are safe deposit boxes – there are bound to be valuables in there.

‘If we did find anything illegal in there we would be required to notify police.’

A spokesman for Jamie Oliver said: ‘The haul was actually removed before we moved in.’

Oliver has allegedly handed over the loot to the Treasury.

Update:

One of our eagle eyed readers, Scald Roguish Vallade has shared the inevitable pin to the above balloon of a story, that “NO New Order & Joy Division master tapes discovered – the rumours are wrong.” According to Electronic Beats “Superlatives are dangerous, they can break things.”

Last night’s ‘news’ of forgotten and rediscovered Joy Division and New Order master tapes was excactly something like this, as Electronic Beats learned today.

The (management-sided verified) yellow-press “fact” is this: Pop-chef Jamie Oliver works on opening up a new restaurant inside the rooms of an 2009 abandoned Manchester bank building. Yesterday On Monday he tweeted (see below) in conversation with Charlatans lead singer Tim Burgess what was found in the forgotten treasury rooms in the basement around three years back.

Jamie Oliver
@Tim_Burgess gotta check the vaults there amazing when the bank moved out they found 1 million unclaimed £ and loads new order originals jox

Apparently, various media reports picked this up, making old stuff look like spectacular news. Alongside “guns, gold and jewellery” the tapes were reported to having been discovered, estimated to being worth around 1.1 million quid. Bernard Sumner’s management today confirmed an EB request, stating that “the bank closed in early 2009 and (they) moved the contents of (their own) storage vault to new storage elsewhere at that time. There were no long lost master tapes or unexpected finds.” To break it down: no ‘Unknown Treasures’!

Read the full story here.

O dear, hands up, I got that one wrong, but hey, we all can dream.

Bonus: Joy Division Live: Nashville Rooms, London September 22nd 1979

Track Listing

01. “Wilderness” (0:00)
02. “Shadowplay” (2:45)
03. “Leaders Of Men” (6:28)
04. “Insight” (9:04)
05. “Colony” (13:00)
06. “Transmission” (16:57)
07. “Disorder” (21:00)
08. “She’s Lost Control” (24:31)
09. “Atrocity Exhibition” (28:26)
10. “Glass” (35:06)
11. “Exercise One” (38:40)