Sorry for the delay in announcing this, folks, there was an extremely annoying plumbing issue at Chez Metzger this weekend. The good news is, we have a winner! Danny Myshrall has won the grand prize of a Denon RDC-N7 stereo receiver with Denon SC-N7 speakers for his entry: Taupe Sabbath! (That’s a real beauty, ain’t it? We could all agree on that one)

The runner-ups, who’ll both be receiving Denon AH-NC600 noise-canceling earphones are “Mean Mr Mustard,” who came in second place with Ned Beatty & the Squealers (ouch!) and Perry for his brilliant entry, Bristol Palin and the Rhythm Method, which came in third. Congratulations to all of the winners!
Here are some of our other top picks from the contest:


Family Circle Jerk [Nice!]
Solo Posse
Harpoontang [If this isn’t already a porno title, it’s about to be soon]
F is for Flake [a sly Orson Welles ref, I likey]
Closet Queen (“The Completely Heterosexual
Queen Tribute Band”) [A top favorite]
Phosphorescent swirly
Skidmark Valedictorians
The Whom [If I was judging the contest solo, I’d have picked this one to win]
Fuck Owens [or this one!]
Listen Up, Missies!
Rodney On the Crockpot [Los Angeles in the house!]
The Phil Spector Wigs
Depression Era Tears
Cocaine Dust Bowl
New, Albeit, Dead [Love this one!]
Pete Best’s Luck
Early Styx [Awesome!]
Traditional [Brad Laner and I both really liked this entry]
The Palindromessemordnilap
I’m Not Racist, But ...
Does Anyone Else Confuse Rip Taylor with Rip Torn?
If You Like Pińa Colostamys
The Outsourced Love
Pest Sounds [Worthy!]
Shitty Candy
Surrounded by Ladies
Pain Grocery
The Donner Pool Party
Floppy Dicks
Gay for Pay
Morning Wood
Pinchers Of Loaf
Jacob’s Bladder
The Dyslexic Nerd Renegades!
Bob Saget’s Inner monologue (a “Sludge Metal” band, probably from a rural area)
Meth Lab for Cutie
Wizards of Banality, The
Skullduggery-do
Latter Day Elvis
Dudley More
Jethro Starship
Echinacean Miracle (jam band)
Pincode Wizard
Craigslist Babies
Texting Lane [Jello Biafra-worthy, that one]
Black Lennon
Meatshirt
Oat Foot
Poop Lamp [a fave]
Bad Night For Hands
Skirt Fur
Gay Republicans For Jesus
Shit or Get Off the Cross
Afros & Assholes
Picasso’s Last Fart
Over Before You Know It
Bill Paxton’s Uncle
Fatgirl Laugh
Fuck Me Toothless [Ha!]
Retardy Tea Party
3 Teeth Left
The Tina Yothers Experience
Cup O’ Noodles
I Taste Pennies [!?!?!]
Carrie Fisher Pity Party
Fela Cooties [Wonderful!]
It’s Longer Than You Think
The Teeth, UK.
Morning Squirt
Totally Todd
Manbush
Robin Williams on Coke
I Shot the Deputy
Al Sharpton’s Sharpie Collection
Wolf Pants

And finally, honorable mention goes to:
I’m not on twit or facebook so fuck all yall nazi ass motherfuckers.

Thank you everyone for entering, it was a lot of fun to read most of your entries. Some of y’all are just nasty!

I’d like to thank all of the disgruntled ‘little people’ out there that made my success possible… I used to be one of you! As to job offers, contact my agent and ‘we’ll do lunch’!

I dunno. Bristol Palin and the Rhythm Method is the only one that made me burst out laughing, though several runners-up made me smile. (I can get two different amusing takes on I Taste Pennies, btw.)

Thanks Dangerous Minds! And Thank YOU Thorne…it’s always nice to be appreciated.

Yeah, agreed Thorne. There’s a lot of puerile shit in there. Not many names that wouldn’t get tiresome after five minutes. I guess that’s why funny band names generally suck as a real option.

Thanks for hosting the competition - had fun.  Although I now worry about the moral rectitude of your august readership in new and disturbingly graphic ways.

Of course…  PJHoutman famously penned Taupe Sabbath back in ‘05:
http://forums.championshipmanager.co.uk/forums//showthread.php?t=20671

This is not a matter of mere web lore but rather a universally accepted internet certitude.  Still I’ll admit I laughed when I first red of the Taupe.  Though I remain perplexed by the many missing umlauts such a name begs. 

Well, bully for Mr. Myrshall if he had the good sense to google it. If the name Myrshall isn’t googled as well.

I thought 664 Neighbor of the Beast was the funniest but that one is even more wide spread - not even limited to Mssr Houtman’s vast oeuvre.  Kudos to the crack DM team for sussing that out.

I thought my “Paul McCartney and Legs” cleverly maximized offensiveness to both wives.  More mean than funny though, mostly because the vegan’s dead and the other one’s crippled.  Tough to get a laugh that way, although this is certainly that kind of crowd.

However,  I’m ecstatic to have Pest Sounds, Closet Queen, Outsourced Love, and I shot the Deputy called out for special merit. 

My personal favorite is I Shot the Deputy.  No one cares about the killing of the deputy - about the _LIFE_ of the dep-u-tee.  I say!

Otherwise the deputy is unmentioned in the entire frigging song. Its almost like Bob Marely lost focus somehow….  Nor is the departed deputy discussed anywhere in the canon of popular music (if one ignores a brief backwards recorded aside under the label of the rare Bing Crosby 78 B-Side “Spliff Christmas”).

Other than Bing and his toasted recording engineers, I believe I’m the first person on earth to realize this vital fact:  Somewhere in Kingston-town the murdairrer be free to dis day.

In any event, the crucial manifesto for the “I Shot The Deputy” cover band is an iron will to only play all original material.

morning wood is an accrual band! LAME!!!

SHAVING BEAVERS RULE!!!

But what are the fiduciary responsibilities of an accrual band? 

Bristol Palin and the Rhythm Method is very, very good - bravo whoever came up with that one!

Will there be part II? I missed the deadline.

Bristol Palin and the Rhythm Method got ripped off..3rd..are you shitting me?
That is the best name ever.

Everyone knows the best and funniest band name ever is….

Sexface of base.

well they do now anyway.

still think “Bob Saget’s Inner monologue” was the best…lol

Gaza Strippers.  But they are real I’m told.

love dangerous minds, clearly there is a big in joke here cos i don’t think any of the band names chosen are funny at all, lost in translation? clearly my suggestion Uncle Montys Sofa IS the funniest here - *disbelief*

@notsofast… Wouldn’t I have had to “think of’ ‘Taupe Sabbath’ to have googled it? I don’t know about this PJ Houtman, but I don’t think he made any money with his idea… and maybe that’s the different between an average asshat and a ‘Dangerous Mind’... don’t be a sore LOSER. By the way, the Denon ROCKS!

I’m just joking, Daniel - Taupe Sabbath had me laughing.  You deserve the Denon.