Andre Williams, self-styled Black Godfather, is the man responsible for the berserk R&B of Bacon Fat, Please Pass The Biscuits and the immortal Jailbait. He is a legend and a lunatic. There is a new documentary about him called Agile Mobile Hostile: A Year With Andre Williams.
In 2001, WIlliams gave a career spanning interview to the Perfect Sound Forever e-zine that is utterly hysterical, especially the part about his “operation” to become Jewish:
Q: Speaking of Jewish people, we hear you are a recent convert to Judaism. How did that come about?
Williams: Well, I met a lady who I like real well and she’s from the Naftali tribe, she’s Jamaican. She’s a lawyer and she said “Well, Andre. If we gonna do something, you’ve gotta skin down!” [Laughs]
Q: Was it err.. painful?
Williams: Well, it was an experience! I went to the doctor’s office and I’m thinking that I’m going first for the interview you know. So when I got there, I had the $350 in my pocket, the doctor said it was gonna cost me that. So I said “OK, when do I come back?” And the doctor said “No, we’ll do it right here!” Sweat started popping on my motherfuckin’ head and I said, you mean you really are gonna do it right now?? He said “Yeah” and sat me on this fuckin’ table and said “Drop your pants!”. I dropped my pants and he grabbed my dick and said “Oooh! This is gonna be good! She’s gonna love this!” [Everyone laughs, loudly] I swear! Man, I looked around and I said “Doc, you know, err, I’m err…” He got the needle and said “I don’t put my patients to sleep. This is much better, I know what I’m doing.” He popped me the first time with the needle and by then I’m embarrassed like a motherfucker and I keep rolling in my seat you know. Then he got an even bigger needle and by that time, everything was dead and he was just “Crrrr crrr shhccrrr…” [Everyone laughs but are shuffling uncomfortably on our seats with our knees kept very tight together indeed. Andre is obviously enjoying this tremendously] Now this is kinda strange, like cutting through material “Crrr shhcccrr ssshh!” [More horrible sounds] He was playing with bits of cotton and dabbing here and there, and then the worst part about it was that he set the dead meat up on the table! [Screams of disgust!] Then he told me “Do you wanna see what I cut off?”, I said “Yeah” and looked over and I see this big ol’ dead piece of meat with blood and everything! Then he sewed it up and put a big ol’ bandage on it. No sex for ten days!
Thank you Michael Simmons!