Final Placement is a Christian Rock band from Midland Tx. It consists of four guys from Midland Christian School. They are currently playing shows. They dream of scoring a record label one day. The philosophy of FP is, “The world is gone but not lost it can still be saved, all it takes is the people to listen. Maybe if they will hear the message and change.”

Sick riffs!

it’s nice to know that in this homogenized digital age that something this shitty can still be achieved.

WOWzers!

Is this the “Final Placement Shreds” video?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Vml7SwxXTI

At least they got the Rockette kick-thingy move in there…

hearing this shit won’t make me change - puke maybe but not change

It does indeed sound like those StSanders Shredding videos, but this appears to be sincere. A real head-scratcher !

ah! I get it! harmolodic xtian rock!

Okay got it!

“The world’s gone to hell but it’s all going to be okay if people would just listen”

...And what you listen to is privledged, tone deaf, white kids from George W’s home town of Midland, Texas.

The worst guitar solo ever—comes out of nowhere, wrong key, and shit anyway.  This must be a parody.

After listening, the world just became an even shittier place.

I didn’t know the Shaggs procreated!
Learn something new everyday…

It’s got nothing on Crabcore, for sheer horribleness, though.

How dare you insult the Shaggs that way !

Sure, it’s awful. Maybe even notably so. There’s a tendency in culture today to point out sucky things instead of what’s legitimately valuable, especially in music. A lot of reality TV works because the viewer feels superior to who she’s watching. Thus many people’s aspiration becomes to suck as much as possible—to epically suck and fail to get attention.

TV, if you look at the vast majority of my posts you’ll see that they are celebrations of what I consider to be exceptionally good music.
This group is notable for their evidently sincere effort to be great but still failing in a spectacular fashion. Add in the Xtian smug-ness and Texas/Bush connection et voila: Dangerous Minds magic !

Lad: yeah, that was perhaps mean. I love the Shaggs as much as the next guy, but there was something shambolic about those guys that at times evoke a bit of Wiggins whimsy. It was their sole redeeming feature and one that - no doubt - they will endeavor to polish away in their efforts at superstardumb. Godspeed to them, either way.
TV: While there are quite a few blogs simply pointing out musical horribleness, there’s probably ten-fold pointing out the magic, sublime and mutant music we love. Most of them just happen to be illegal.

srsly, it’s like a shreds vid without the satire. amazing.

If someone finds out what this all about, please enlighten us. They have a bit of a Ween/Shadowy Men On A Shadowy Planet kinda feel…

Uh…

It’s all about Jesus, Sunny.

All good things must come to an end.

Your enlightenment: Hello. I apologize for the rhythmless trainwreck of a song before you. The bassist and singer take all of this very seriously. This stuff is of paramount importance. They recorded this and asked me and a drummer to come play some parts on it. Whenever friends do this, I just follow ther direction blindly, letting them do whatever they want. This stuff will never get out to the public, right? Wrong on this one. So I guess this is me defending myself and the drummer. We are not members of the band. We were not asked if this could be made public on YouTube. If we had been, we would have undoubtedly said no. I guess we could have saved them a lot of trouble if we had just told them from the beginning their recording sucked. Questions? Feel free to ask more.

Ah!  I do have a question.  The slowed down drumming at the beginning, was that the drummer trying to keep up with their recording, or did he do the drum track first?  Could you explain their recording process?  Thanks!

I will gladly answer any questions that will hopefully clear the names of myself and the drummer. The way the track was built was entirely backwards. Instead of starting with the rhythm tracks, they did the basic guitar stuff. Apparently their metronome was broken. Me and the drummer just tried our best to play in time with them. We put up a decent effort, but I defy anybody to play to their original tracks and sound halfway decent. I don’t care if John Bonham played the drums on this track. Even he would sound like crap.

Hi STRS !
Thanks for dropping in ! So may I ask, is that you in the video ?
If so it looks like you thought it was pretty good at the time.
Just own it, man !  I have a true fondness now for the sheer
disaster of it all. Speaking of which:  That guitar solo ( which you can’t blame on the backing track, cmon) is just epically wrong.
So refreshing !

I figured that was the case.  Yikes…  Thanks.

Yes. I played the guitar solo. Yes. It is epically wrong. But it was what I was told to do. I never thought this would be all over the place, so I had no problem with it. Believe it or not, I’m actually a competent guitarist. I was totally aware of the “epic wrongness” of the solo. I hated it from the beginning.

I’m gonna duck out of making any more snarky remarks about this. Having been a teenager and being father to more teenagers than I care to admit to at the moment, I think you get one or two (or more) passes at doing some truly, epically horrible things; haircuts, crimes, musical crimes, etc…
Besides, I’d rather make fun of bands that really deserve it, like Stick Stickly or John Mayer.

I can tell you can really play. The harmony part at the beginning is nicely done. I’ve done plenty of those kinds of epically wrong solos myself. I just didn’t make suave rock videos for them . That’s what’s blowing people’s minds : the nice video for the amazingly crap song.

At least I’m getting some sort of respect. Haha. The video was never anything more than a joke to me. Another massive miscommunication. I guess all I’m saying is that there is more going on here than meets the eye. Trust me. Some people in this video thought the whole project was serious, others didn’t.

So was the video put up in the first place by someone in the group or was it only meant for a school project or something ? Why did the myspace page get taken down ?

The video was supposedly just going on some contest site. Real small time deal. I was ok with that. It wasn’t going to get this kind of attention there. Then they put it on YouTube. I guess they took MySpace down because of privacy/pride issues.

And as far as that little headline at the top of the story goes, I am not in the band. I helped them out on this song, unfortunately.

OK man, respect. Keep playing. Don’t compromise !

I’ll keep playing alright. Just not with these guys. Haha. I’m must glad to get the truth out.

If anybody’s interested in seeing my actual band (which actually is an intentional joke, unlike Final Placement) this clip is from the “Talent Show” at school last year. Crap quality, crap playing, but a lot of fun. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bztr9DhySZY

Have you heard of this band called Pavement? You guys share a lot in common. Check this video out, especially the solo around 2:00
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BoMdkyeZOqE

Setting The Record Straight: Tell ‘em to put the myspace or FB account back up. This is filled with WIN. And stop apologizing. This is big. The rule is always haters, suck it. Stop apologizing and run with the WIN.

I didn’t really listen to the lyrics, but the song itself wasn’t terrible, just not executed very well.

I think the video itself is really awesome because it represents the fact that basically anybody can now record a song and make a video that everybody in the world can watch over the internet.

And really, these are kids, they’ve gotta start somewhere, right?  I’m glad there isn’t video footage of the band I was in in high school for people to make fun of. (Actually, I sort of wish I had some.)

In a few years, these guys will look at this video, laugh, and think a.) I’m such a better musican now or b.) I’m glad I quit playing.

Keep on rockin, Final Placement.

Ha ha this is the best comments thread on DM in ages! I have a question for STRS too - dunno if he can answer tho - where did the name come from and what does it mean?

I have no idea what the name means. I always tell people it’s the place they expected to get in the school’s talent show.  But I doubt that’s the truth.

I feel like I need to reiterate. I am NOT in the band. I helped them on one show and then this video as a hired hand.

Setting The Record Straight, as a guitarist it’s very obvious to me that you can play. With some decent backing music that solo would be pretty great. Good luck in the future!

Stop blaming the others STRS just take it like a man. song blows, you were part of it!

C’est la vie!

I am not trying to blame it all on them. The guitar solo I played - hate it. It deserves to get ripped.

i actually loved the guitar solo. reminded me of the first time i performed in front of a live audience and the solo i played.

I actually liked it alot more than your other solo you post that was cliche and predictable.

So what do the people in your highschool think of all this attention the band is getting? How big is your highschool? Do you know Tim Riggins?

The video of my band was pretty much just a straight cover. Not much originality there. The people at school know that I’m at least a decent guitarist, so I’m not getting much, if any, negativity. Everybody understands what happened here. I do not know Tim Riggins.

So other people in the band are getting negativity?

And yes you are a good guitarist, i can tell, you probably better than me and Ive been playing 20 years! ha!

So is “Final Presentation” finished as a band? Are there more videos that you partook in? if so will they ever be uploaded?

real dick move to just throw your bandmates under the bus.

No.  The video is not good either.

They are NOT my bandmates. They are people that I played with on this song and for one show.

Will Final Placement continue? No idea. Frankly, it doesn’t matter to me. I’m sure you guys would love them to keep churning out the videos. There are no other recorded songs.

@STRS: But if the song/video wins the contest, you’re still going to Camp Electric, right?

How long did it take to record the video?

What is Camp Electric?

I don’t know ALL the details yet (I’m only one man), but make sure to get out the vote for Final Placement at http://rockthecamp.endavomedia.com/video/4ACF9AE14E/shine

@STRS:  Why is the drummer not in the non-performance clips of the video?

Is this some viral ad campaign made by fucking hipsters?

No ! This is the real thing. Earnest young people making real, raw,
fucked up music. No fucking hipsters could even dream of doing something this real on purpose.

Actually, this really isn’t bad. The recording process is a bit off, but the lead singer has a nice voice. The components are very nice. It doesn’t take much to make a song sound “off,” especially when we’re used to listening to engineered perfection all day long. Everyone starts somewhere, and this is a great start; it’s certainly better than sitting at home with no friends playing Guitar Hero. You guys are *doing* something. Ignore the haters, and keep at it.

Do you have to be tone deaf to actually think this is good?  This is HORRIBLE.  Please tell me this is a joke.  Are they all even playing the same song?

I’m with studio-muse, Lad Braner and Mike Mongo. This is total win, even if you’re unhappy with the solo you were cajoled into playing (most pro musicians have to play tons of krap they really don’t like).

Any haters can take a flying leap and go back to chatroulette or whatever they were doing.

Most of the video took one afternoon. One sad, sad afternoon. I will not be participating in anything this band does ever again.

Aw, c’mon. It looks like you guys were having fun !

Hey STRS—I’d like to speak with you by phone for a major media outlet. Email me? celticfrostbite@gmail.com

STRS - Kudos for sticking up for yourself and your drummer friend.  We’re poking fun at you over at thenumberoftheblog.wordpress.com too but mad props for owning up to it!
Cheers,
Des

The guitar(monies) sound like the between scenes music from really low-budget 80’s sitcoms. It’s hilariously bad. The lead guitarist can claim whatever he wants about the track all he wants, but holy hell, whoever WRITES leads and solo’s like that is an awful, awful musician. Please be a banker.

Check out my band The Tattle Tales. Click the link! Plug!

Hey STRS, You really are leaving a BAD tast in my mouth. Quit being a Coward!! So people leave some bad comments and you run for the hills. What are you really defending yourself from, a bunch people you’ll never know or see. Grow up and be TRUE to yourself and your friends. I’d drop you like a Rock!!

STRS isn’t owning up to it - he’s trying to offset the blame for this trainwreck by selling out the other two members of the band instead of taking the blame as a group.  The whole “I’m just doing my job” argument doesn’t work for Jay Leno’s terrible comedy, and it won’t work for this either.

I have to agree with Duder.
Just because you sell out the other two members of your “band” doesn’t excuse the fact you:
a. Recorded the song
b. STARRED IN THE MUSIC VIDEO

Where did you think the music video was going to go?  “Some small time contest site” still equals internet.  If the “lead singer” really believes in his song, he’s going to put it out there for the world to see.

That guitar solo cracks my shit up.

STRS
Hey I really want you to call me. I have a real opportunity for you that could form a career from this. 
please email me at woodmenhall@gmail.com

Thanx
Terry

Christian Stefos Migliorese -

Checked out your band’s MySpace page - WOW! It sounds like a rehash of stuff I’ve heard before by people who do it a lot better. What kind of pussy goes around busting on people’s musicianship then plugs their own project? People like you.

Go back to figuring out how auto-tune works and shut the fuck up about this kid’s playing.

I mean it grows on you…. what can i say? the drum was out of tune tho…..

-Christian Stefos Migliorese

HOLY SHIT! I remember when you guys had Austin Bello from Forever the Sickest Kids sing backups on your record! I still listen to it all the time! Keep up the good work, I’ll be rocking out to ‘Dongs! Dongs! Dongs!’

Wow - just came back here and saw the guitarist’s comments.  How cool is that?!!

For those saying he’s throwing the band under the bus… not so much.  Just telling it like it is. It’s not his band, and he wasn’t into it, is all. He owned up to his corny solo, too. Come on - he’s a teenager.

I rather liked the talent show video he posted. Reminds me a lot of my band in high school playing the talent show, but we did Devo/Clapton. He definitely has chops.  He played some Eddie riffs!! Credit where credit is due.

Although ‘Final Placement’ (STRS included) should ride this as far as they can, humiliating or not.  This may be their one shot at recognition, ever.  Just do like the Jersey Shore people… get represented, soak up the attention, laugh at yourselves a bit, and shrug off the haters. Cash in, if possible. Kimmel or Fallon would totally have them on.

Also… does STRS know about THIS?

http://vimeo.com/9631251

OWN IT!!!

I agree, they should ride it out for All it’s worth. It looks like their all teenagers. STRS you might concider these guys got u more hits in one day then ur video got in a year. Maybe u should beg forgiveness. To the whole “band” ride it out!!!

i totally agree RIDE THIS SHIT! I bet Kimmel would TOTALLY put you on TV!

Swallow your pride and RIDE THIS SHIT!

STRS-

my favorite part is about 2 minutes and 20 seconds in. right after the solo, the song breaks down and it gets ‘heavy’. you aren’t playing anything, you’re just standing there, looking at the bass player with a serious face full of ‘feelin it’. you do this little shoulder shimmy move. YES!

much more subtle than the rockette synchronised kick line you willing participated in and smiled through at 1:15 minutes.

seriously, this video is like ‘The Room’ of music videos.

why would you bother with the amps and not bother taking the time to plug your instruments in?

what is going on when you guys are hanging out texting by the atm in the hotel lobby?

-
” STRS text-‘hey man, what you doing?’

  Lead singer text-‘nothing, just standing by the train tracks.”

  STRS text- ‘wanna get some coffee?’
-

and what is the deal with the train? its not coming off the track at all!

where is the drummer when you guys are hanging out? does he not enjoy coffee? didn’t you text him too?

when the lead singer says “you will find” at the coffee shop, why does he point at you? what are you gonna find?

what about that split second where you guys are at the stonehenge-esque monument thing? that looks more pagan than christian to me.

is this whole thing just guerilla marketing for starbucks, yamaha and north face?

Robert “Big Bobby” Delap -

Wow, what a coincidence that a fan of Christian’s band would post in such short order! If you want to hear better music, go listen to some Jason Falkner or Jellyfish. Better playing, better writing, and best of all, don’t have to put other players down in a pussy attempt to make themselves look like a bunch of Brooklyn bigshots! Enjoy!

b.

brintzenjammer-

Lol what am I like 25 years old? Why would I want to listen to that classic-rock 90’s stuff?

have you even heard the Tattle Tales songs that Austin Bello sang on? They are incredible, taking the best parts of (old, American Idiot era) Green Day and combining them with amazing synths.

Youre missing out, old man!

Now THAT sounds like a shit sandwich.

The Tattle Tales? I tried to figure out who they were, but their website was a popup (blocked) and a broken link.

This is all about Final Placement, and whether they have generated an effective way of spreading the word of Christ.

Christia… er, uh, sorry, Robert “Big Bobby” Delap -

Ah - so sorry, I wasn’t clear in my original post. Let me restate. All I heard on their MySpace page was an IMITATION of music that is 20 years old and was played and written better the first time. And yeah, I’m old enough to remember it, but smart enough to hear 90s (nay, 80s) rehash when I hear it. Sorry I wasn’t clear the first time!

Do you have anything to say about your pop hero Christian acting like a douchebag for busting on teenagers playing rock and roll, bad, good or otherwise? Do you like to play the guitar, Bobby? What’s your favorite song?

b.

STRS, why are you so shady? You are the one who signed on to be a part of this…and now that this video has garnered negative attention you sell out your friends? What a awesome guy you must be.  The fact you take such cheap shots at the band’s name and the fact that they worked on this makes me lothe you even more….and I don’t even know you (THANK GOODNESS) Better check your watch, STRS, looks like your 15 minutes are up!

brintzenjammer-

Yes, I play the guitar. I got a squire strat for christmas two years ago and i’ve been taking lessons since then. Im not as good as Christian is yet but I am already definitly better than the dude in this video.

And my favorite song is ‘Dyer maker’ by Led zeppelin. Why so curious?

You think your such a tough guy talking on the internet but youre really not youre just an old fart.

I don’t like how they claim they’re a Christian act then show suggestive images like that oil well being pumped.  If i wanted to watch that kind of filth i’d turn on the mtv

STRS:

Your solo under no circumstances sets you apart from the other “musicians” in this video. You are seriously off key, your riff over played and if you were half the musician you say you are, you would have never, ever agreed to partake in that solo.

You say you were asked to play that, let me ask you this, which one of the musicians transcribed the solo for you? If they did not transcribe and you just let it off then the only one to blame for mediocre improv is yourself. Your not owning up to Anything. You have ability, but no where near prime time.

I have shown up at many rehearsals for gigs and after the first 15 minutes picked up my stuff and walked out. No trash talking, no hurt feelings, no apologies or “explanations” to anyone except to the person who first called me to the gig. “Sorry, I really dont think that my playing best suits your band’s style.” and thats the end of it.

This is not to say that you cant play with musos who arent at your playing level, but there are times when you truly have to pick when and where you shred.

First off of course, keep jamming with your buddies. Second, never trash talk or apologize for anyone, no one put a gun to your head to do this, and finally, practice, you need it badly.

Dont feel to bad, if you were hopeless, I never would have told you to practice.

wow jonathan.. you’re so awesome to give such advice.  Seems you’re a real wealth of knowledge. (sarcasm should be obvious, but i’ll point it out for you)  I honestly doubt you’ve ever played or been asked to play with anyone, much less walked away from it. 

Did it occur to you that not everyone “transcribes”?  Maybe some just play through a different talent.  No, probably that didn’t occur to you bc you’ve never really played with musicians.

Yeah, maybe this kid shouldn’t say anything about this band and I think he should run with this viral publicity and use it for all it’s worth. But that doesn’t mean he’s not a great guitar player.  And no one needs criticism from a douche such as yourself.

Sleep well….

the singer bears a remarkable resemblance to ethan port circa ‘81 or so.

If these guys do not see the HUGE opportunity they are missing out on the internet will be very sad.

I’m with lw on this… This could be fun for these guys.  Not like life changing, but what the hell… it could make for a good few weeks to laugh about for a long time.

Actually STRS you could be on to something here, like a Slint revival.

B.B.

Is it just me, or does this band (the vocalist in particular) sound like an epic failure at imitating Third Day? For those who don’t know, Third Day is a christian band (of meh quality, IMO) with a fairly distinctive-sounding lead vocalist.

To JohnStamos:

wow jonathan.. you’re so awesome to give such advice. 

(Thank you)

you’re a real wealth of knowledge.

(I am)

(sarcasm should be obvious, but i’ll point it out for you) 

No need.

I honestly doubt you’ve ever played or been asked to play with anyone, much less walked away from it. 

(My resume would likely make you fall on your ass.)

Did it occur to you that not everyone “transcribes”? 

(True, transcribing is for playing specific parts, STRS said he was asked to play that solo specifically. When you are asked to solo or improvise for a song, you could be pointed in the direction as far as mood or style, but when you are asked for a SPECIFIC solo, you need a transcription buddy, or learn whatever the producer is asking for note by note. Of course you knew this.)

Maybe some just play through a different talent.

(There is none here.) 

No, probably that didn’t occur to you bc you’ve never really played with musicians.

(Again with this.)

Yeah, maybe this kid shouldn’t say anything about this band and I think he should run with this viral publicity and use it for all it’s worth. (First bit of sense you’ve made)

But that doesn’t mean he’s not a great guitar player. 

(He is not.)

And no one needs criticism from a douche such as yourself.

(All musicians are subject to criticism, comes with the job. Any musician who cant take criticism is in for a very frustrating career. If I were to call everyone who criticized and taught me a douche, well, I guess I wouldnt be where I am today, playing with the people I play with. Criticism can be constructive, you just have to be careful what criticism is meant to hurt you and which is just the plain truth.)

Sleep well….

(I will, but not yet, got some practicing to do.)

Peace

Holy crap! you guys had enough hook-ups to get a real industrial warehouse elevator scene in the music video. That’ll get you in the top 10 for the video contest.

you’re worse than the ‘amber lamps’ guy who got punched in the face in this weeks’ other meme, beard-man-punches-mouthy-young-dude.

STRS: I hope this gets you onto Survivor 14.

ok, somebody needs to take sharity’s endless guitar loop video from vimeo and do something wonderful with Ryan Sorba’s anti-homosexual/natural law rant at this CPAC.

The CCM guitar solo meets the bigot-frat boy ranter.

Bring it on.

Oh I wish my equipment weren’t in a PODS unit in the US.

RE:
I just follow ther direction blindly, letting them do whatever they want.

Dude, you are a true Christian!

STRS (Colin?)—

I agree with the others—this is going to be big for you.  I don’t blame you for one second for disavowing that abortion of a song, though I expect you’ll be playing it on national TV before long at a FinPlac reunion on Jimmy Kimmel.

You guys need a logo.

There will be the eventual remixes and Cherry Chocolate Dr. Pepper video, and Weezer (or OK Go or someone) will have you do the solo in their video while the Star Trek kid dances.  And some relatively big indieish band or solo pianist will do a cover with like Lil Wayne rapping on top of it.

Seriously.  Embrace the suck.  The other “bandmates” will be pissed for a few days at your dis, but they’ll get over it when people starts offering cash for appearances.

Enjoy the 15 minutes and by no means stop playing.

Seeya on Kimmel.

W

This is the worst thing I have ever heard. There is no way that these clowns could ever be serious. The singer sounds like he’s taking a dump while smoking a cigarette after a night of choking on dick. The lead guitarist is just plain awful. A guy with no arms, could play the guitar better with his feet while eating mashed potatoes out of a dog bowl. The bassist looks like some kid in special ed. at recess after playing kickball. The drummer looks like a penis pump but he’s the only decent one in the band, which he isn’t great at all. Overall I give this video a 10/10 for making me laugh through the whole thing and beg for an encore. Thank God I found a video of that amazing guitar solo on repeat. I wish you guys the best of luck in a career in comedy..maybe you should take drugs for some future influences, step outside the box a little bit.

You guys would look cooler with some bongs on top of your amps and some lazer effects in your videos. Please go on tour soon so I can booze at one of your shows and sing along to this soon-to-be number one hit on MTV. Thanks for the good jams.

Hooray for all the failed musicians in this thread projecting their own inadequacies .

STRS: next you’ll be saying you only were “asked” to write this riff:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yRnPE1u4ruM

Jonathan - I just watched the video from the talent show the guitarist posted.  He’s a thousand times better than this song and his parts.  If you don’t think he can play, watch the talent show video. 

I don’t know why he’d agree to play that solo either, but don’t act like he’s not capable of playing or realizing that the song is bad. 

Someone talked about the components; it’s actually not a terrible song, it’s a terrible version of a run of the mill to bad song.

O.k… First off ‘Robert “Big Bobby” Delap’, you talk about Green Day, mentioning their ‘old, American Idiot era stuff’?! WTF?

Old Green Day would be Dookie, or Nimrod… Seriously, American Idiot is not old, and it’s not even ‘good era’ Green Day anyway. Were you born post-1996 or something?

And for anybody else saying STRS is selling out his band mates, or refusing to own up for his own crap guitar playing, seriously, have you never been asked by a friend to do something you thought was stupid?

It’s not unreasonable at all to think that he did it because his friends (who were actually in the band) needed a helping hand. That’s not lame or weak, and his recanting of his support for the song really isn’t underhanded or mean either. He did something stupid for his friends’ benefit, and when it got a lot bigger than he expected, he wanted to clear the air. That’s it.

Oh, and just because he knew it was going on the internet, doesn’t mean he should have automatically assumed that the song would be picked up by Dangerous Minds (and now Boing Boing) and made into the latest viral internet phenomenon. C’mon, who posts on the net and seriously thinks a substantial number of people will even notice it?

Oh wait… douchebags like the ones posting links to their own bands and own music in this comment thread (STFS did it because some of the focus was on his playing on the original, so no pithy comebacks there either).

That is all… for now.

Request:  Stop fucking other men.  It makes me cry.