Heroes returns to NBC tonight for its fourth series and I am ashamed to admit I’ll probably I’m going to watch it.

The first series was great but the second and third seasons really sucked. And the writing… wow was the writing shit last season. AND the one before it. None of it makes any fucking sense, it’s unashamedly repetitive and confused. Hell, Heroes even rips itself off!

The Heroes story bible probably doesn’t even exist. It often feels like the writers themselves have no idea what happened the week before or will happen the week after. Killed off the guy who could paint the future, when this would have come in handy to resolve something plot-wise? MAKE ANOTHER CHARACTER ABLE TO DO IT!

AND WHY DOESN’T ANYONE EVER DIE ON THIS SHOW?!?!? Claire’s powers are the ultimate “Get Out of Jail Free Card” for the writers, one they never seem to tire of whipping out…Even if you apply comic book logic—or simply go with it—they’ve pulled the “he’s dead, no he’s alive again” trick way, way too many times—like when Peter briefly had Claire’s regenerative powers, conveniently right before he blew up; when Nathan came back alive and when Ali Larter returns as the twin sister of her offed character—ENOUGH WITH THIS! Puh-leeze. It’s like they hired a new crop of writers who never even watched—or asked any questions about—the first season before they wrote series two and three. If they even had writers at all for the last two seasons. Maybe they fired them all. Now it all makes sense!

So why do I keep watching Heroes you ask? I’m not altogether sure I can answer this question. Not to you, not to my wife, not to myself. It’s like a friend of mine once said to me about a Yoo-Hoo soda. I’d never had one before and I asked “Are these any good?” He dryly replied “You won’t like it, but you will drink it all anyway.” I guess that’s why I watch Heroes, if that makes ANY sense whatsoever. I started watching it, then I just… um… kept watching it.

Is it loyalty? Am I expecting it to get any better?

Not really, no.

But it does have a great cast. I think that’s why it’s so watchable in the final analysis, it has a great ensemble cast. The chemistry, the charisma and all of the things the actors bring to the show haven’t changed since the first series, it’s the writers and show runner Tim Kring who have let the actors down.

So I plan to tune in tonight and even if it is bad—which I half expect—I will probably still watch it next week and the week after that to see if it gets any better. Before you know, I’ll have drunk the whole Yoo-Hoo.

PS Tara and I saw Heroes hottie Hayden Panettiere at the West Hollywood branch of the Pleasure Chest. She and her girlfriend were laughing their asses off at the “novelty items” for sale there. Sadly, we left before we saw what she bought. I kept expecting this to show up on Perez Hilton or TMZ but it never did.