Well, there is simply no beating around the bush about this one. No mitigating factors. Nope, none. The new Harry Potter film, “Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince” is absolutely fucking terrible. Not a disaster, just a total bore, which is worse. Please don’t shoot the messenger, I sincerely expected to like it, but man oh man does it suck. It’s mind-numbingly bad. The pacing is all wrong. It felt like we were in that theater for about seventeen hours.  My wife hated it even more than I did.

After a fantastically conceived opening sequence (one of the finest I’ve ever seen, brilliantly executed) my first thought for this review was “Harry Potter franchise kicks it up a notch! Or two!” I was fantasizing about my blurby superlatives showing up on movie posters, but… sadly t’was not to be. After the first ten minutes the film quickly dropped off in energy and intelligence. After 30 minutes, the suckiness picked up speed. Much of the script made no sense. Some—like all the villains—characters’ actions seem to have no motivation whatsoever. Aside from one or two action-oriented scenes (the Quidditch matches were remarkable), it was an absolute snoozefest.

Looks great, same great cast, all the right ingredients, I grant you that, but I will say it again: The new Harry Potter movie is godawful.

I know what you’re thinking. Your kids will still love it. Guess again. Your kids will hate it and get restless after 30 minutes. So will you. No one would love it unless the studio was paying them to love it. I don’t think the people who worked on it or acted in it love it. No one would like this movie. It’s shite. The word of mouth will be horrible.

If you read this far and you still plan to see “Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince”... as you are sitting there watching one of the worst big budget films in recent memory, a total piece of shit, remember this review and don’t say I didn’t warn you. Because I did.

And if you want to know how I really feel…

Richard,

you’re really in the minority on this one. Critics are gobbling the new Harry Potter up.

I’ve never seen a Harry Potter movie and could care less. But, I do get a kick out of your take on the film.

May be interesting to note how Harry’s pose on the poster looks like he is about to cut his own throat!

Wow, that feels harsh.  Saw the movie last night, and I can’t really argue your points, I still managed to enjoy it.  I think I was more entranced by the look of the film, and the scenes that DID work.  But at the end, a friend summed it up nicely - “a plot would have been nice.” 

It was a great-looking film, but when the credits rolled, I found myself wondering what had actually happened.  The advancements in the larger story seemed to take place in the last half hour, and were nothing all that revelatory.

i COMPLETELY agree with you 1000%
the film was COMPLETELY different from the book
there was 3-5 scenes that kinda came from the book, but if you ask me, they left out the MAIN plot and filled it with 2hours 30mins of people kissing and jealousy issues…
i was completely gobsmacked and let down, as the press made it out to be MUCH better than what it was..

Blimey, that was quite a broadside, Mr Metzger. Obviously “no one would like this movie” is quite a hostage to fortune, viz.:

I saw it this afternoon and I really enjoyed it.

I felt like the ending was not the flash-bang finale or emotional send-off I was hoping for, but on the whole I thought it was a good and entertaining film. Every scene had some genuine quality, whether it be the fine acting, the beautiful cinematography, or the growing tone of dread, and I’m looking forward to the final two films. There were some brilliant and beautiful sequences and I walked out satisfied with the money I paid.

I can sympathise that you didn’t enjoy it, which is a real shame, but I happen to disagree.

Wish I’d read your review before wasting money taking my family to see it today.

Too bad I can’t get those three and a half (factoring in the Bore Index) hours back, .

If you think THIS was bad, you all should check out Public Enemies… Richard, what did you think of that snooze-bomb?

I checked out every clip, I believe at rottentomatoes.com, and they are abso-fn-lutely terrible. I read all the books, loved them. I am not gonna see this movie. There’s a reason it’s been delayed. Just watch the clips, boring as hell and like reading a boring book.

And why are two wizards fighting in a bathroom? Can’t they fight somewhere cooler in an alternate fantasy world? It just bored the shit out of me, and you know what, I and hopefully the audience have matured to the point where watching two dimensional characters yell out a silly spell then cast it becomes cringe worthy.

The director has no clue what to do with the camera. I hated the last one he made, Phoenix. Same thing, effects looked weak, didn’t know what to do with the camera, the climax was fake as hell looking and the action shorter and weaker than the book. The cool thing about the book’s ending of Phoenix was that it was like being lost in a messed up fun-house, being chased by people casting killing spells.

I read all the books after seeing the third one in the theaters. There can never be any topping one of the greatest directors of all time, in my opinion, Alfonso Cuaron, whose camera brilliantly floated through the third film. I saw the film twice in theaters because I couldn’t get over how damn cool his camera work was. Then, of course he blew that away with Children of Men, which got ripped off in the new Terminator.

The producers should have given Cuaron a gajillion dollars, but he and Williams (the greatest film composer of all time) jumped ship after seeing what a shitty director the current dude is.

Goblet wasn’t that bad either, not as good as 3, but nothing will be. Even that guy would be decent.

Holy shit, what is this David Yates cat working for free or paying the producers? And how can viewers dig this boring shit? The screenwriter Kloves if he is back on is talented, he’s probably responsible for the great beginning.

I completely agree. This movie was terrible and way below par. I’m watching the 7th movie(s) online now if they’re gonna be this bad.

I completely agree. I’m sorry I stayed up and went to the midnight showing. This was a complete waste of time. I’ve read the whole series twice and it really ticked me off to see the director completely change, omit and revise most of the plot. Awful just doesn’t cover it. Read the book again, much more satisfying.

And, Agree without even seeing it Says, if you had read the books like you claim then you would know that Potter and Malfoy do fight in the bathroom. It’s one of the few details that were gotten mostly correct.

I can’t help wondering whether it’s time for the earliest-ever “director’s cut” of this film to try and salvage some of the investment.

Oh, how glad I am that a critic agrees.

It was as though they took the book, ripped out all the pages, and placed all their big action shit in between the covers.

Worst movie yet. Not even simply because it had next to nothing in common with the actual book, but because the movie itself failed. No actual plotline. All big, lengthy, flashy bangs. Close up on intense despair. And little sips of cheap humor to string all the big action scenes together. Even worse? How apparently the makers were under the impression that we, as viewers, are all morons and can’t keep up with a sub-plot. Shove the Vanishing Cupboards in our faces even more, why don’t you? I didn’t catch it the first thousand times.

Not a surprise considering the shitty source material. I started losing interest around book 4. Books 5, 6, and 7 were terrible. Still can’t believe I kept on reading them.

Thanks for the warning.

It looks like this new Harry Potter flick is on it’s way to breaking box office records. $22 million so far with a projected 5 day take of $200 million.
There’s no accounting for taste.

May I suggest THE HURT LOCKER as an alternative. It is a masterpiece of sustained suspense and action. Powerful.

I think you are right, I might check out the hurt locker, but it’s got a dumb title, so deserves the hurting it’s getting at the box office. I don’t want to go to the art house but may brave it for this.

It’s always humorous to read these reviews, no matter how bad the opinions are.

I thought it was enjoyable and I was never once bored. The college crowd I saw it with seemed to eat it up. At the end of the film I wanted to see the last installment of the series. I could have easily watched another couple of hours. Oh well next year.

I didn’t hate it as much as /that/, but it was rather bad. My own review:

http://minimumsafedistance.org/post/142643074/harry-potter-and-someone-nobody-cares-about

WTF!!!! I couldn’t agree more!!!!!!!!!!
The first 4 movies were doing okay, but the last made me want to walk out of the theater, the second I realized there would be no fight in Hogwarts I wanted to GTFO!!! It feels like the movies target audience is 12 or less and then why make it so long???? I grew up on these books, I’m in my 20s now and expecting something good. Alas, none of the character actions have any motivation nor make any sense whatsoever, if you haven’t read the book the movie must be jibberish to you.

David Yates is a terrible director, period. The last film was pretty bad, but he absolutely butchered Half-blood Prince.

Also, what happened to the music? The score in the first four films was great - very memorable. I can’t remember any songs from HBP, not even the familiar refrain that was in the previous films ( was it even in this one? ).

If it wasn’t for some great acting ( not including Bonnie Wright, who apparently has had no acting lessons since the first film ), I would despise this film. As it is, I can’t help but like a few choice scenes - Harry with the Felix Felicis, and Ron doped up on love potion - but really nothing else.

This film had so much potential, all down the drain.

I went for one line out of the book.  I wanted to hear Alan Rickman yell, “I am NOT a COWARD!”

No such luck.

They left out the fight scene at the end.  They left out Dumbledore’s funeral at the end. 

What WERE they thinking???

May I suggest THE HURT LOCKER as an alternative. It is a masterpiece of sustained suspense and action. Powerful.

Alas, none of the character actions have any motivation nor make any sense whatsoever, if you haven?¢‚Ǩ‚Ñ¢t read the book the movie must be jibberish to you.

And, Agree without even seeing it Says, if you had read the books like you claim then you would know that Potter and Malfoy do fight in the bathroom. It?¢‚Ǩ‚Ñ¢s one of the few details that were gotten mostly correct.

Perhaps I’m a complete dolt, but I loved it. And yes, I saw the same film you did. I read the books and will always love them more. The worst problem with the films has been the inconsistencies between directors, so even if David Yates isn’t the greatest director ever, at least we had a two movie streak again with the same director. And he’s set to do the final two, which will defintly be for the best. Micheal Gambon finally acted like Dumbledore, offering gentle kindness and superbly controlled emotion and power yet he FINALLY had the whimsical eccentricities he has in the books (i.e., the knitting magazine). This contrasts with his acting under Mike Newell in GOF in which Dumbledore slams Harry against a wall. Tom Felton shone as Draco! The complexities of his character really showing through when Bellatrix destroys the great hall. My biggest concern is the lack of explanation for why Snape nicknamed himself half-blood prince. The burrow scene could have been replaced with the memory of the Gaunts too for a better use of time and plot development. The funeral would be a great opener for the next movie. I also really hope Bonnie Wrights’ acting improves for DH. The chemistry between her and Harry was almost nonexistent. She has the look but really bad lines that are poorly delivered. Slughorn was fantastic, Felix Felicis and the love potion were wonderful, and I laughed out loud so many more times than for any other HP movie. The final scene, though tamed down from the book, lost nothing and only gained some great lines, great acting, and amazing complexity. Unlike at the end of POA in which the cast is busy screaming at each other with too much insane anger to be clear about anything. Couldn’t Lupin have taken one second to explain as he does so eloquently in the book?

Oh, and thank god we didn’t have to see that stupid covered bridge again that suddenly appeared in POA. Yates used actual rooms and locations we know about from the books but have never seen in the films (i.e., Arthur Weasley’s room full of muggle things). Overall, I felt that the mood was right, the humor spot on, most of the acting better than ever, and there was finally an incredibly less cheesetastic ending than in any other film.

Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince is being released in the cinemas in July this year, Next year Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows part 1 will be released and in 2011 Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows part 2 will come out

I enjoyed the movie. I agree with this review: http://chud.com/articles/articles/20066/1/REVIEW-HARRY-POTTER-AND-THE-HALF-BLOOD-PRINCE/Page1.html

I have read each book at least twice in print, and have listened to the audiobooks a *shameful* number of times. BTW…if you haven’t done so, DO.  Jim Dale is phenomenal, and performs each character better than anyone in the films. 

I have read quite a few reviews of this film.

And I have read even more responses to said reviews of this film.

But no one has dealt with the issue that is tormenting me most.
Can someone please tell me one thing:

Why WHY WHY????? did they write in the fire and battle at the Burrow?  What purpose did that fucking serve?  At that point in the film, I wanted to run screaming from the theatre.  J.K. must’ve signed a hell of a contract to allow such inventions.

First of all, as much as I love the Harry Potter series in general, this book and the last one really dragged. This one was plagued by these constant detours into the memories of the past and the next one just drags on and on and on before it even *tries* to go anywhere.

But, my problem with the movie is that it seems to be not so much a movie in it’s own right as a sort of Cliff-Notes, jog-your-memory-of-the-book set of visual images. Visually, the movie was fantastic, but it felt like like I was watching the whole thing through a View-master—a set of discrete scenes that work fine on their own, but in desperate need of an external reference to pull them all together.

As an example, look at the bit that is central to the very title: the book on Advanced Potions previously owned by the Half-Blood Prince. In the movie, we get Snape admitting that he is the Half-Blood Prince without the explanation that he called himself that because he came from a Wizard-Muggle pairing and that his mother’s maiden name was Prince. (Fairly important since Voldemort and Slitherens in general regard anything other than pureblood status to be a bit suspct.)  In the book, Snape recognizes his old spell and asks for the book, prompting Harry to rather frantically panic and hide it in the “Room of Requirement,” unwittingly stumbling upon Malfoy’s cabinet in the process. In the movie, it’s a reasoned decision that gives Ginny a chance to snog him. In the book, the parenthetical scribblings of the Half-Blood Prince leads Harry to realize that shoving a Bezoar down someone’s throat is an easy way to counteract poison, leading to his ever-increasing trust in this book and the person who wrote it when that very act saves Ron’s life. In the movie, we see Harry save Ron’s life, but not the reason why he knows or the consequences of that action.

The whole movie is a set of set-ups without consequences and consequences without set-ups. The book itself, flawed as it was, at least had set-ups and consequences that worked against each other. Whoever wrote this script should be, as said in Futurama, “Fired. Out of a cannon. Into the sun.”

Did I like the movie? Yes, in that it was a pared-down and visually interesting representation of the book I was well familiar with. My problem with it is that not only does it not stand well on its own, but it also doesn’t tell the story well enough for the people who have not read the books and are only following it through the movies. I think those people might see the nifty special effect, but leave the movie wondering, more-or-less, what the #*#&*) just happened?

Harry Potter is really much famous and most popular worldwide.

Hi, thought that this movie after long time would be a block Buster but its reviews are not so good.Let me watch..

Very sadly, must agree, especially about the word of mouth.  Rupert Grint was very funny, Emma Watson is tender, delicate, occassionally dangerous and heart stoppingly beautiful.  What is more, she does not rely on her beauty to be so moving, but on her maturing talents.  She is becoming an inspiring actress.  Dan Radcliff is very convincing as a much put upon teenager who is beyond shocking.

Tom Felton, who has to carry much of this film, has finally found his legs.  He has always impressed me as a kid who had to play a bastard but hasn’t got a mean bone in his body.  This would be a difficult task for anyone but especially an adolescent who may not have met any real bastards.  What do you have to work with? 
In this film though, Felton, shows a truly conflicted Draco.  Well done Tom! 

Artistic direction was absolutely beautiful.

But, whoever is responsible for plotting and pacing should have to sit through this thing several times a day for a month.  Or better still, spend a year teaching film school, in Modesto.

Still, I’ll go see it at least a second time and eventually buy the DVD because I just love Harry Potter.  But, if there were some kind of organized strike or somthing, or even a petition, to protest the betrayal of the story that this film represets, I’d join, or sign, it.

Oh and, by the way, I’ve loved all the other films to date.  Watch them over and over.  I understand that you have to edit the books to make the film.  But this thing is sooooooooooo bad.

So much great work is apparent in this film: Harry, Rowling, the actors, the tech people and the fans all really deserve better.  What a shame.

I sincerely expected to like it,but man oh man does it suck.It?¢‚Ǩ‚Ñ¢s mind-numbingly bad.