Pat Robertson on Feng Shui:

“You don’t wanna fool with that stuff. At best it’s demonic, at worst it’s just, it’s just superstition. Whatever it is. you don’t need it.”

Of course this is the same man who thinks strength in martial arts comes from “inhaling demon spirits.”

Tai chi is cool, though, sez Pat.
 

 
Via Joe.My.God.

 
Nut-job 700 Club host Pat Robertson, who normally prattles on about the end of the world, Obama being a Marxist and gay marriage—and who just last week insisted that people can stop hurricanes and tornadoes if they’d just pray hard enough (“Jesus stilled the storm, you can still storms” WITH YOUR MIND!)—said some words in an order that made actual sense on a March 1, 700 Club broadcast, as reported by the Law Enforcement Against Prohibition blog:

We here in America make up 5% of the world’s population, but we make up 25% of jailed prisoners… Every time the liberals pass a bill—I don’t care what it involves—they stick criminal sanctions on it. They don’t feel there is any way people are going to keep a law unless they can put them in jail.

I became sort of a hero of the hippie culture, I guess, when I said I think we ought to decriminalize the possession of marijuana. I just think it’s shocking how many of these young people wind up in prison and they get turned into hardcore criminals because they had a possession of a very small amount of controlled substance. The whole thing is crazy.

We’ve said, “we’re ‘conservative, we’re tough on crime.” That’s baloney. It’s costing us billions and billions of dollars.

Think of California. California is spending more money on prisons than it spends on schools. There’s something wrong about that equation.

We need to scrub the federal code and the state codes and take away these criminal penalties. Putting people in jail at huge expense to the population is insanity.

Folks, we’ve gotta do something about this. We’ve just got to change the laws. We cannot allow this to continue. It is sapping our vitality. Think of this great land of freedom. We have the highest rate of incarceration of any nation on the face of the Earth. That’s a shocking statistic.

What is it we’re doing that is different? What we’re doing is turning a bunch of liberals loose writing laws—there’s this punitive spirit, they always want to punish people.  It’s time for change!

More and more prisons, more and more crime.  It’s just shocking, especially this business about drug offenses.  It’s time we stop locking up people for possession of marijuana. We just can’t do it anymore…You don’t lock ‘em up for booze unless they kill somebody on the highway.

According to Law Enforcement Against Prohibition the rant came in the context of a story about Tea partiers and the NAACP teaming up to address criminal justice reform.

This isn’t the first time that Robertson has spoken out against pot laws. In the clip below, the world’s most unlikely advocate for drug law reform let’s it rip a few days before Christmas of 2010:
 

 
Here’s Pat Robertson’s response to the recent passage of legislation legalizing same-sex marriage in the state of New York. 

 
(via BuzzFeed)

 
Huh ? Rapture must be nigh because I’m pretty sure I’m not hallucinating the uber-horrible right wing Jeezer supremo making total sense on the wisdom of pot decriminaliztion in this clip which was broadcast today.
 

 
Thanks Jason Witherspoon via Cheech & Chong (natch)

 
From wearing his mother’s red patent leather ‘fuck me’ pumps to 4 or 5 sexual encounters with men everyday and finally into the arms of Jesus and a loving wife, the inspiring story of Tony the Black homosexual who crawled out of the dark hole of the downlow lifestyle.
 

 
Dangerous Minds pal Matt Dunnerstick sent word of this wonderfully appropriate way to raise money for the people of Haiti: a voodoo doll of none other than bigoted, senile, Christian right-wing fucktard Pat Robertson. A man so stupid he blames natural disasters and terrorism on “deals with the devil” and people’s sexual orientation! You can bid for the voodoo doll on Ebay and 100% of the money raised will go to the Red Cross.

Ever wanted to cause Pat Robertson a massive headache?  Give him back pain?  Jab him in the crotch?  Of course you have!  Well then BID NOW to own your very own physical representation of the dark, dark soul of Pat Robertson.

Accessories included with the doll are Pat’s very own “HOLY” BIBLE and BAG OF MONEY taken from real Americans!  WOW!

BID NOW!!!!

(When we first saw this Ebay listing, there were 51 bids and the price was $500. A few hours later, it’s up to 58 bids and $750)

 
Last time it was Halloween candy, now it’s earthquakes.  Is there ANYTHING shameful opportunist Pat Robertson can’t link to some infernal cause?!

“Something happened a long time ago in Haiti, and people might not want to talk about it,” he said.  “They were under the heel of the French…and they got together and swore a pact to the devil.  They said, ‘We will serve you if you’ll get us free from the French.’  “True story.  And the devil said, ‘OK, it’s a deal,’” Robertson said. “Ever since, they have been cursed by one thing after another.”

 
The full, Christian Broadcasting Network take on the tragedy can be found here.

(via Politico)

 
This is one of those stories that, when you are confronted with it, seems like a parody from the Onion, but upon closer examination ... it’s not. No, it’s a “truth is stranger than fiction” kinda thing. Actually, it’s more a case of her truth is stranger than fiction. This is some real Michelle Bachmann-level goofiness going on here. What am I talking about?

I’m talking about the marvelous loopy opinion piece written by one Kimberly Daniels, founder of Kimberly Daniels Ministries International, who describes herself as “a recognized prophetic voice” (whatever that means, details were not forthcoming). Kimberly penned what might be charitably described as a “controversial” essay for Charisma magazine, published online at its website and also picked up by Pat Robertson’s CBN website but removed as the story began to receive ridicule on the Internet. What was her essay about that caused such a reaction, you ask?

Well, you see, Kimberly wants to destroy Halloween! That’s right—she wants to destroy Halloween because of the demonic candy handed out during the holiday. Not just any candy, but accursed candy, the worst kind!

From her essay:

During this period, demons are assigned against those who participate in the rituals and festivities. These demons are automatically drawn to the fetishes that open doors for them to come into the lives of human beings. For example, most of the candy sold during this season has been dedicated and prayed over by witches.

I do not buy candy during the Halloween season. Curses are sent through the tricks and treats of the innocent whether they get it by going door to door or by purchasing it from the local grocery store. The demons cannot tell the difference.

Sound the alarm! And be on the lookout for this evil, demonic candy! Why hasn’t someone alerted Fox News??!

Daniels goes on to write:

Halloween is much more than a holiday filled with fun and tricks or treats. It is a time for the gathering of evil that masquerades behind the fictitious characters of Dracula, werewolves, mummies and witches on brooms. The truth is that these demons that have been presented as scary cartoons actually exist. I have prayed for witches who are addicted to drinking blood and howling at the moon.

I’m not going to touch that one, but check out some of the other “secret, wicked, cruel activities that go on behind the scenes” during Halloween:

      * Sex with demons
      * Orgies between animals and humans
      * Animal and human sacrifices
      * Sacrificing babies to shed innocent blood
      * Rape and molestation of adults, children and babies
      * Revel nights
      * Conjuring of demons and casting of spells
      * Release of “time released” curses against the innocent and the ignorant.

Who knew? Now that we are aware of the problem, what are we, as a society, going to do about it?

Here’s Kimberly’s final advice:

There is no doubt in my heart that God is not calling us to replace fall festivals and Halloween activities; rather, He wants us to utterly destroy the deeds of this season. If you or your family members have opened the door to any curses that are released during the demonic fall festivals, renounce them and repent. I already have.

Cross posting this from Brand X